01. You’ve touched me, and whether you know how I feel about you or not, you’ve affected me in ways that I can’t change. I can’t imagine what I would be like now if I have never met you. Even if you’ll never know, I just wanted to say that you’ve changed me in ways I can’t even start to explain.

 

02. You asked what’s really going on with me, and I didn’t know what to say at first. I thought of everything I had been through. I thought of how many times I cried over you. Just last night, even. I thought of the way my heart speeds up every time I see you, just to get disappointed. I thought of how nervous I am, every time I feel that you’re around me. I thought of the way you mess with me, treating me amazingly one day, and ignoring me the next. I thought about the tears that were now rising in my throat. I bit my tongue and told you nothing was going on. But, everything was going on.

 

03. I’m alone, and every day, is the same, where everything becomes a missed opportunity-turned-disappointment. You know. Same stuff, different day.

 

 

04. And maybe that’s my problem: Maybe, I open up to too many people, expecting to receive the same thing, then being crushed when I find out that I’m just not worth it.

 

05. I don’t know how to explain what it’s like to be near you. But when you materialize next to me, all my walls fall down, and everything that I planned on saying rushes out of my mind. I can only look into your eyes, and my stomach drops so fast that it feels like I’m on a roller coaster.

 

06. “Boy, we've had a real good time, and I wish you the best on your way. I didn't mean to hurt you, I never thought we'd fall out of place. I have something that I love long-long, but my friends keeping telling me that something's wrong. Then I met someone, and babe, there's nothing else I can say. There's nothing else I can say, I wish you'd never looked at me that way.” - Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say); Lady Gaga.

 

 

07. If you want something, you go get it. That’s all you can do, because everyday that you spend sitting and waiting is another day that the biggest change in your life could have happened. All you have to do is jump. But do it for yourself, not for anyone else. Inspire yourself to make a change and take a risk, because you have nothing to lose. Nothing is nothing, because even if it’s only a little change, at least you did something. At least you jumped.

 

08. “I will not take my love away, when praises cease and seasons change, while the whole world turns the other way, I will not take my love away. I will not leave you all alone, when striving leads you far from home, and there's no yield for what you've sown, I will not leave you all alone. I will give you what you need, in plenty or in poverty, forever, always, look to me, and I will give you what you need” - I Will Not Take My Love Away; Matt Wertz

 

09. “Who doesn't long for someone to hold, who knows how to love you without being told? Somebody tell me why I'm on my own, if there's a soulmate for everyone?” Soulmate; Natasha Bedingfield

 

10. One day we flirt and share whispered secrets, then the next you can hardly say two words and I wonder if it was all just a dream. Maybe I’m over you or maybe I’m done chasing you, but honey, the highs and lows are wearing me out.

 

 

A few things I have to say, if you care to read them:

SORRRRY that this took so long to post! I've only had just this sliver of time. Everything's just been so crazy right now. I haven't even been on my personal. I've missed this! I'm going to try as hard as I can to post more and more.

 

question of the post: I've been into positive thinking right now. So I want to know:

 

show me some love. comment, rec, & sub!

01. I love you. Okay? It’s out there. I don’t have to spell it out anymore. I have this crazy sort of crush on you, and it’s taking up all of my time. I think that you’re beautiful and incredible and amazing. I blush and stammer each time you talk to me. I miss you on the weekends and my hands shake when I go to send you a text message. I have this feeling in the bottom of my stomach that we would be perfect for each other, if you only knew how I felt. Now you know. Now, let’s get the rejection over with. Break my heart, if that’s your intention.

 

02. I see that you’re online, and the butterflies in my stomach from being anxious are still there. You message me and ask me how I am. I put my fingers to the keys and realize that there is nothing left to say. There is nothing for me to say that will change anything. There is nothing I haven’t said to try to change your mind.

 

 

03. I want you to still love me. I want you to still need me, and for you to regret the choice you made to leave me, everyday. I want you to be miserable, and finally realize that I was the best thing that ever happened to you. I want you to have a breakdown. I want you to want me, to beg for me on bent knee, just so I could turn you down.

 

04. Songs don’t make me sad because of their topic, but they make me sad because I’m thinking about you. I can’t watch romantic comedies, because they always remind me of the romantic tragedy that I’m caught in the middle of. I hate Valentine’s Day not because I’m single, but because I’m remember when we were together for Valentine’s Day, only a year ago. I can’t go on living because everywhere I’ve been is somewhere that we’ve went, somewhere where we’ve kissed or talked or laughed. I can’t watch the simplest commercials or television shows, because they can all easily bring back a memory of us I’ve been trying to repress. I’m just a normal girl with a bad cause of heartbreak.

 

05. “Before I fall too fast, kiss me quick, but make it last, so I can see how badly this will hurt me when you say goodbye. Keep it sweet, keep it slow. Let the future pass, and don't let go. But, tonight, I could fall too soon, under this beautiful moonlight.” Catch Me; Demi Lovato.

 

 

06. “I'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you, because it takes two to whisper quietly. The silence isn't so bad, till I look at my hands and feel sad, 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly. I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in two days, 'cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone. But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night, waist-deep in thought because when I think of you, I don't feel so alone.” Vanilla Twilight; Owl City.

 

07.  “But you see, just because we’ve been…dealt a certain hand…it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above --- to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try and retrain whatever essential humanity we can.” Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer.

 

 

08. “It's funny how you can be face to face with someone, and yet it feels as though you're on the other side of the world from them. They haven't actually gone anywhere, but they might as well have. It's one of the worst feelings to become acquainted with: to miss someone who's literally right there.” Katephoria

 

09. “I wanna kiss you, but if I do, then I might miss you, babe. It's complicated and stupid. My ass squeezed my sexy cupid; guess he wants to play, wants to play a love game.” Love Game; Lady Gaga

 

10. “You know I appreciate the finer things, but it's not what makes me happiest baby --- I can do without it, babe. Your tender loving’s more than I can handle; never burn out this candle, baby.” Money Honey; Lady Gaga.

 

 

photo credits: flickr.com/itslex94

 

what's your favorite thing about february? (figured I would hop on the wagon, and ask a question at the end of my posts)

01.  “See this heart won’t settle down, like a child running scared from a clown. I’m terrified of what you’ll do --- my stomach screams just when I look at you. Run far away, so I can breathe, even thought you’re far from suffocating me. I can’t set my hopes too high, ‘cause every “hello” ends with a “goodbye”. But, you’re so hypnotizing. You’ve got me laughing while I sing, you’ve got me smiling in my sleep, and I can see this unraveling. Your love is where I’m falling, but please don’t catch me.” - Catch Me; Demi Lovato.

 

02.  Be rational, relax, and put on the smile. Breathe normally and slow down your mind. Walk confidently with your eyes up, an interested face, and you even shake your hips a little bit, because you‘re single now. Try to dress beautiful and to feel beautiful, to radiate light, because he won’t miss the clingy girl that you‘re acting like. Don’t have any expectations, don‘t let your heart wish for anything. Seal your heart away and hold it together. Cage your love. You can save it, but don’t hold your breath, or wait for that rainy day, because that’s hoping. And hoping can only hurt.

 

03. “I have a question,” I said, pulse racing and heart pounding. “I have an answer,” he said easily, smiling and never taking his eyes off of me. I blushed, baffled for a moment. How could he not know? It was so obvious that he was the answer to why I was smiling, the answer to exactly what I needed.

 

 

04. I wish I could live in midnights, the perfect place. A time where you are at the division of two days, where there is no trouble, controversy, but everything in perfect clarity. What’s so special about 11:11, anyway? I say, wish on midnights. Make a subconscious wish at the only time where you know just what it is that will make you truly happy.

 

05. I care about you… It seems like that’s always the consolation prize I get. No one knows how to love me, but it seems that everyone know just how to care about me. Love, without the commitments.

 

06. It scares me that I can let someone manipulate my day so much. It scares me that just a smile can change my whole mood around. It scares me that I get butterflies in my stomach every time I see you. It scares me that your eyes stop me from processing coherent thoughts. It scares me how head over heels I am for you. It scares me how much I love you.

 

 

07. “Perhaps not the best move, but I’m no longer worried about making those. I’m just trying to stay high and survive, whatever that takes. I have no plans for the future. Any future. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be. No one lives forever, do they? For some, living longer, slower, less complicated lives is their goal. Personally, I need to live faster, even if it means dying younger. Don’t ask me why. As for the guilt, it comes and goes” - Glass, by Ellen Hopkins.

 

08. “Sometimes, I have this dream that I have been put into the middle of the ocean, and in the distance, I see tsunami type waves forming in the distance. As hard as I try to swim to the coast, the waves grow in front of me, larger and larger. When the waves are in front of me, I try to take a deep breath, but I can only gasp for air as I am submerged underneath the water. I am not alone, but I see him. I reach for him, but he swims to the surface, and escapes the underwater storm. I try to follow, but I am pulled closer to the bottom, running out of air, and because of the undercurrents, I hit the bottom of the ocean. When I do, it’s like my emotions are gone. When I wake up, the feeling of emptiness is still there.”

 

09. “The visit to his house had been unexpected, to say the least. I had learned that just a look or a touch could still affect me in the same was as when he had his chains on me. And I realized that those chains were still there. Needless to say, after deafening silence and pain, I wanted to escape.”

 

10. “Love grows in me like a tumor, parasites bent on devouring its host. I'm developing my sense of humor ‘till I can laugh at my heart between your teeth, till I can laugh at my face beneath your feet. Skillet on the stove is such a temptation --- maybe I’ll be the special one who doesn’t get burned? What the fuck was I thinking?” - Fuck Was I; Jenny Owens Youngs

 

 

pictures by www.flickr.com/itslex94.

any other picture sites that i could use in the future? your pictures? leave the links!

favorite quotes? oh please, let me know :).

oh, for the record, there's not any credits & just quotations on 8 and 9 because i wrote them. but they're from one of my stories. so this was the solution i thought of. xD

01. I’m watching, I’m wishing, and I’m waiting. I’m waiting for things to change for me. I’m waiting for that turn in life that’s supposed to come, the silver lining around the gray cloud that has been my existence. But nothing is coming.  Nothing, except dark storm clouds coming in without a silver lining. And I realize that I can’t wait anymore. Waiting will do me no good. If I want change, I have to go out and find it.

 

02. “The biggest risk in life is not taking a risk” - Jersey Shore.

 

 

03. You infuriate me, did you know that? Sometimes, in one of our little moments, you make me so angry that I can’t see straight, but you’re still the only thought in my head. How can you aggravate me so much, but I still love you?

 

04. You’re everywhere and I can’t hide from you. I close my eyes, and you’re there. I see faces in the hallway blur, and you’re there. I dream and you’re there, too. You’re everywhere, but too far from reach. You’re everywhere, but no where near close enough to me.

 

 

05. I’m just a girl. Nothing special. Just a normal teenage girl who's wondering if true love is really out there, and when I’m going to get a taste of it.

 

06. “Whoa, whoa, I never realized what a kiss could be. This could only happen to me; Can't you see, can't you see?” - I Should Have Known Better; The Beatles.

 

 

07. “He wanted to kiss me. I felt it with every never, every fiber, every molecule of my being. I wanted him to kiss me, with ever nerve, every fiber, every molecule of my being. But I was scared to kiss him. Every nerve, every fiber, every molecule screamed! He leaned forward, parted those perfect lips. At that exact moment, every single thing about my life changed. Forever.” - Crank, by Ellen Hopkins.

 

08. Have you ever felt alone in a crowded room, like everyone is passing you by, but no one sees you? For a desperate escape, you try to take a chance. Any chance is better than no chance, right? So you make a risky move and push yourself out of your comfort zone, just to feel something. But when said risk comes crashing down, you’re back to where you started. You’re back to being numb.

 

09. I don’t want to get over. I just want to turn off my feelings for you for a little while. It sounds ridiculous, but I don’t want to let my love for you control me, or let it change my mood from bad to good and then back again. The roller coaster emotions are making my life even more confusing. So, I’m putting it to the back of my mind. That doesn’t mean that it’s not there, so if you want to, you can come and find me. I’ll be here.

 

 

10. Sometimes, there is no fate. There is no horoscopes and mind reading and predictions of love. There is no wishing on a star or at 11:11 and hoping that things will work. There is no Prince Charming knocking down your door. There is only going out and finding your dreams, finding the boy, and putting it all together to make it work.

 

11. When I think back to that night, I realize that’s when I started to fall for you, whether I knew it or not then. For the first time after the heartbreak, I let a guy sweep me off my feet. I let someone flirt with me, and I flirted back. I played games and smiled and laughed and flirted with more verve then I even knew how. I let a guy put his hand on my leg, and for the first time in ten months, I didn’t push it away. I didn't push you away. That was the night when I fell for you.

 

12. “Funny thing, your brain, how it always functions in one level or another. How, even stuck in some sort of subconscious limbo, it works your lungs, your muscle twitches, your heart; in fact, in symphony with your heart, allowing it to feel love. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt. I wonder if it’s the same for people, lost in comas. Is there really such a thing as brain death?” - Crank, by Ellen Hopkins.

 

 

sorry i haven't updated in a while. as a show of apology, i added two more quotes than usual. yaaay.

photo credit to xl0vebug. i'm trying to pressure her into making a photo xanga, and she should do it!

have a favorite quote? please let me know. :)

01. “What are we to do? What are we to say to one another now we're through? Thanks for being you, thanks for being all the things I had to say goodbye to. I'm over being lied to, I'm over being pushed into the person that you want me to become.” - Bring Me Down, Lenka.

 

02. I wish I could draw --- put a pencil or paintbrush to a paper and create what could be mistaken as photos from my own mind. I wish I could take beautiful pictures, for that matter --- behind or in front of the camera. I wish I was pretty. I wish I was smart and I wish I was known. I wish I could take a script and become someone else with it, or open my mouth and make a beautiful voice come from my throat to make music. I don't. I don't do any of these things. Writing is what I do --- my nitch. Unlike many, I can take words and mold them into something magically. I don't draw, and I’m not in movies, but I can create more long lasting images with the imagination. I can't speak eloquently or debate passionately, but when I write I can find my own voice. I may not be able to sing, dance, or act, but I can do something that most cant. I am not inferior for my own calling.

 

 

03. When I see you, you take my breath away. I can no longer speak, and the haze in my brain stops me from creating rational thoughts, anyway. Every time, never failing, I can’t just come out and tell you what I’m thinking and how I feel. It would change everything, and that’s what I’m nervous about. But, it would be easier than the confusion and unknown. If I were to tell you the way I feel about you, I could lose you. But then again, I could gain you.

 

04. If it makes you feel good, then that’s all that matters. It’s understandable when you want someone to know or regret the pain they have put you through, but the sad truth is they most likely won‘t. You can fantasize all you want, but this isn‘t a movie. It’s tough, but the biggest thing is we can do is keep living with no regrets or baggage.

 

 

05. Take the dare, because even if you’ll be embarrassed over what you had to do, the rush from overcoming a challenge will be greater than the fear.

 

06. “Most people seem to be interested in turning their dreams into reality. Then there are those who turn reality into dreams. I belong to the latter group.” - Allen Say.

 

07. It’s like, I adore you, but you have no idea. I don’t know how you have no clue; I make it so obvious. I suddenly just start smiling when I see you, and every time we talk it brightens my day. You can’t see that?

 

 

08. “We make progress by a constant spiraling back and forth between the inner world and the outer one, the personal and the political, the self and the circumstances. Nature doesn’t move in a straight line, and as part of nature, neither do we.” - Gloria Steinem.

 

09. I like to give advice. I like to help people through their problems, and usually, I end up playing cupid for some other couple. As always. Why can I give every other girl in the world a piece of advice, and no one can provide me with an answer? I want to give up. I want to stop knowing all the solutions, only to be left to face my problems alone.

 

10. “Sometimes, when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, a chance word, a tap on the shoulder…I am tempted to think…there are no little things.” - Bruce Barton.

 

 

photo credit - www.flickr.com/itslex94 or xl0vebug on xanga (:

would you like your pictures here? or would you like to be a sister site? contact me.